Tonight I'm Going to Cry
by Cheru-chan1316
Summary: Roy looks back on what he should have done differently.


Title: Tonight I'm Going to Cry

Chapter: 1 (oneshot)

Word Count: 1,125

Pairings: Ed/Roy

Rating: T

Warnings: Kind of angsty. Suggests boys love relationship (yaoi).

Summary: Roy looks back at what he should have done differently.

Not Beta'd

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><p><strong>Tonight I'm Going to Cry<strong>

One month, three days, four hours and sixteen minutes.

The lights flipped on illuminating the dark empty apartment. Roy Mustang stood in the doorway, his hand still on the light switch, waiting. He knew that _he_ wouldn't be there. No complaint drifted through the deserted apartment. There wasn't a brilliant smile and a dazzling flash of gold to be found save for the photographs hanging on the wall. There was no lover welcoming him with open arms. Chest constricting the General moved into his living quarters and closed the front door behind him. He was alone in this house again tonight.

Taking off his great coat, Mustang tossed it haphazardly across an empty chair, slipping off his boots, and switching on the radio. Turning the music down low, the General moved to the kitchen to find a drink. He was already pretty toasted from the drinks he had had at the bar, but there was a bottle of wine in the cabinet above the fridge calling his name.

Moving back to the living room Roy poured a hearty glassful of the dark red liquid and picked up a picture that had been lying on the coffee table. They looked happy in the photo, arms wrapped around each other, warm affectionate smiles. When had the picture been taken? Or perhaps the better question would have been: when had Edward stopped smiling like that? It seemed so long ago.

"_Roy could we talk?"_

"_Sure, Ed. I have a meeting with one of the generals. I'll be home around six. We can talk then."_

"_I meant now. Roy, wait –"_

…

"_You're late."_

"_Sorry. I got held up. Is dinner ready?"_

"_You didn't call."_

"_I was held up. You didn't make dinner? Here, I'll order takeout."_

"_I want to talk Roy."_

"_Just a minute, I'm hungry. Ah, hello. Could I get a large piz-. Ed! What are you doing? Don't hang up the phone while I'm talking it's ru-"_

"_Shut up, Roy!"_

"_Ed-"_

"_No! I've been trying to talk to you for weeks, but this is how it always is! You tell me just a minute; we'll talk later, but later never comes. Something more important always comes before me, and I'm fucking sick of it, Roy! You know, we haven't even been out together in two months? I don't remember the last time you sincerely asked how my day has been. I try! I try to be patient and understanding because I know the military is demanding but your behavior lately is bullshit, Roy, and something's gotta give!"_

"_I've just been busy. You're not a child anymore, Ed. You should be able to understand-"_

"_Damn it, Roy! Stop making fucking excuses. You have not been here from me and I need that to change."_

"_Well, once the treaty with Drachma I signed and-"_

"_Stop. You don't get it. Just stop. Stop."_

"_Are you crying?"_

"_Yes, you stupid bastard! You're not hearing a word I'm saying and I'm fucking frustrated!"_

"_It's no reason to cry, Ed. You're not twelve."_

"_What's more important, me or your job?"_

"_What? Where did this come from?"_

"_Jut fucking answer the question, Roy."_

"_Ed, I – you know how important becoming fuhrer is to me-"_

"_Your job then. I-I can't do this anymore, Roy."_

"_Do what?"_

"_You. I can't – _we_ can't be together anymore."_

"_Edward, wait. What are you saying? We've been together for five years. This is a rash decision."_

"_I've thought about this for a while now. It's not a rash decision. I deserve to be happy."_

"_You are happy."_

"_No, no I'm not, Roy. That's what I've been trying to tell you! _You're_ happy, but _I_ am not. You take and you take and you take. You've stopped listening to me. You've stopped caring for me. And I can't take this anymore."_

"_Ed-"_

"_Don't touch me! Don't fucking touch me! I – you – you can't fix this with words or sex, Roy."_

"_Let's just sit down and talk about this rationally."_

"_No. I'm done. I'm leaving."_

"_You'll be back tonight though, right?"_

"…_No, Roy, I'm _leaving_. I'm not coming back. We're through."_

"_Ed, wait. You'll come back. You always do, so just stay."_

"_Goodbye, Roy."_

"_Edward!"_

He never came back. Al had called from Resembool a couple days later to inform Roy that Ed had made it safely and that he was going to be staying with he and Pinako and Winry. The younger brother then asked Mustang to pack up Ed's things and send them back to the blond's hometown.

"What was I thinking? Why didn't I go after you, Ed?" the dark-haired General said to the photograph in his hand.

_Ed was right. I wasn't there for him like I should have been. Damn it! If I had just – he tried so hard. Why didn't I see that sooner? I should have taken you out once a week and helped around the house and maybe made you breakfast in bed on the rainy days when your automail hurt. I should have paid you compliments and I should have given you a kiss every time I left for work and returned home. Why didn't I? Next week is Valentines. I could have taken you to dinner and bought you flowers and chocolates. You would have complained about being treated like a girl, but you would have loved it. Your cheeks would have turned red and your eyes would have lit up and you would have had the slightest of smiles on your lips. Shit – I'll never get over you walking away."_

Roy finished off his glass of wine and poured himself another. A sad song came on the radio and the notes drifted through the apartment. The dark-haired solder picked up an old yellow love letter that had been lying open on the coffee table. _How many times have I reread this? _He wondered as he folded the worn paper and slipped it into his breast pocket. The tight feeling had found its way back into his chest and the back of his eyes stung.

Downing his second glass of wine the General looked at the beautiful blond in the photo and addressed him as if her were in the room, flesh and blood, not just chemicals on paper. "Ed, I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show. And I thought that being strong meant never losing your self control. But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain. To hell with this pride, let it fall like rain. Tonight I'm going to cry."

The General clutched the small framed photograph, all that he had left of Edward Elric, and cried harder than he ever had before.

One month, three days, four hours, and thirty-seven minutes.


End file.
